Self-affirmations are often touted as a way to deal with negativity in life, as well as change how you view yourself, and in certain situations they’re effective. However, by themselves they’re not of much use if you don’t address the underlying beliefs that cause negativity in the first place. Deleting negative thoughts only stops them for the moment; they’re going to keep coming back until you change how you perceive the world, and more importantly, how you perceive yourself.
How do you change what you believe? You have to find out what that is first. Keeping a daily journal is a good start; writing down your thoughts on a regular basis can present a very clear picture of what you think not only about yourself, but about others, as well. A month’s worth of daily entries can be very revealing about what you believe, and provide a baseline from which to address beliefs you don’t like.
You can also ask people you trust and love to tell you what they honestly think of you. The people we love are usually a good source of feedback. After all, they reflect both our best and our worst qualities; that’s why we have them in our lives to begin with. Use them as a tool to learn how they view you, and from there to gain a better understanding of yourself.
You don’t actually have to talk to anyone if you’re not comfortable with the idea. Just hanging out with friends or family, and observing how you interrelate, will tell you plenty about yourself. Do you take to others easily, or do you often find them challenging? Are you loving, accepting, and gracious? Or are you judgmental, argumentative, or opinionated, even just in your own thoughts? The latter are all signs of someone uncomfortable with their self, and suggest a need to reinforce one’s beliefs by attacking the beliefs of others, or defending one’s own.
When we live in fear, we’ll go to great lengths to prove to ourselves that we’re ‘right’ about one thing or another, when in fact we’re running from our own self-doubt. The truth has no need of protection; finding our own truths means no longer running from ourselves, or others. You can discover from your dealings with people, including acquaintances or total strangers, how you view yourself.
All of these methods are meant to be self-revealing. In fact, you’re sending messages about your beliefs to yourself all the time, with everything you think, say or do. Just spend some time observing your own reactions to life; if you don’t like what you see, then maybe it’s time to change what you believe.
Keeping a checklist of your good points and bad points is also an aid to help you keep track of what you want to change, and from there learning which beliefs you hold that do not reflect the person you want to become. If you’re serious about changing who you are, you’ll need to be disciplined enough to do something serious about it. That means sticking to a method of uncovering your truths, and making a real effort to change.
How do you change? This is where affirmations find their best usage. Once you’re aware of the beliefs you want to change, you can focus much more clearly on who you want to become. You can change the habits of a lifetime’s wrong thinking by realizing when you’re stuck in it, and altering how you react accordingly. When you catch yourself reacting to life like you always have, stop and respond with whom you want to be, instead; that’s the key to using daily affirmations.
Bear in mind that since it’s taken a lifetime to become the person you are, becoming someone you’re happier being won’t happen overnight. It takes time, action, and effort to create a new you. Freedom from negativity can only occur when you put your mind to ridding yourself of your own negative beliefs, and focus on creating more positive beliefs to replace them.
This is what self-awareness is all about; learning the truth of who you are, and leaving who you’re not behind. As you grow in awareness of the true nature of the self, the mind begins to shift to reflect the truth of your existence, and the world you perceive becomes enriched with more promise and joy as a result.
We’re all on journeys of growth, and there is only movement forward, no matter how our lives may appear to us from one moment to another. However, there’s a difference between being aware of our progress, and wallowing in the self-despair or self-doubt that characterizes a person under the influence of ego alone. Recognize the events that happen in your life as positive movers of change, and change who you are as a result of your increased awareness of their meaning.
