Why is it so important to practice acceptance of our judgments? Apart from the fact it doesn't feel good when we buy into what they tell us about ourselves, practicing acceptance of judgments helps keep us more present in the here and now, rather than living in a non-existent past or the future. Staying focused on the present means you see more truth in life, and your experience of it opens new dimensions of understanding, joy, and growth.
Identifying with our judgments by acting upon them means we believe they're true; but since they arise from beliefs formed in the past, how can they be true now? They might be, but if we just accept them as true without actually learning if they really are we go through life wearing blinders. We're missing out on new experiences and new possibilities in the present, because the past is causing us to judge it as wanting. That's why you seem to have more downs than ups in life; it's a result of patterned behaviour that you haven't yet 'un-learned', or replaced with new thinking that helps you respond to the ever-changing present. f you want to change things around so you get more ups then downs, all you need to do is to look at life like you did when you were a child: with innocence, without labeling things, and without identifying who you are with whatever you experience. Accept whatever happens with equal attention, without wishing it were different than it is, and with the understanding that everything you experience propels your personal growth. This is true even if you feel lousy about something, and is especially motivating if you've been seriously hurt, or are seriously ill. Put to its right usage, pain of any kind - be it physical or emotional - can help us grow. If you're having pain right now why not try to just accept it as how things are in the moment, rather than bemoaning your state to any available ear, or wishing it would go away?
One of the reasons we judge is because we’re caught up in the stories of our lives. We often have a difficult time separating ourselves from the ‘drama’ of life, of just letting life happen without constantly gainsaying it, or wishing it were different. This is the result of conditioning formed when we were very young, and carried forward into adulthood. It dictates our reactions to situations, and cannot be altered except by force of will. You either decide not to listen to the voice of the past, and take everything in the present at face value; or you do listen, and face everything in life with preconceived notions from a non-existent past that have little or no relevance to the present.
Another reason we judge is that we carry emotions from the past forward into the present. If we haven’t found a way to heal our past and let old emotional energy go, we tend to hang on to it, and that affects our ability to discern truth in the present, as well as allow life to happen without ever judging it as 'bad', or wanting to change it.
Another reason we judge is that we carry emotions from the past forward into the present. If we haven’t found a way to heal our past and let old emotional energy go, we tend to hang on to it, and that affects our ability to discern truth in the present, as well as allow life to happen without ever judging it as 'bad', or wanting to change it.
Picture yourself standing in a river. Imagine trying to stem the flow of the water as it rushes by. You can't, of course; the river isn’t going to stop just because you want it to. It keeps on flowing, and life acts exactly the same way. You cannot stop it from moving, but you can stop yourself long enough to enjoy its flow, to just take it in, and take it for what it offers you in any given moment. Judging life as good or bad is like cursing the river because it won’t stop flowing. It’s going to flow no matter what you do, or how you feel about it. So why blame it for your feelings? You made the choice to get upset, after all; the river is just doing what comes naturally. So, too, does life, and you alone choose how you feel about it. The question is, on what will you base that choice? On how you felt in the past in similar situations, on how you think you'll feel about a situation, or on how you'll actually feel once you've experienced a situation without buying into your prior judgments of it?
You try to fault things outside of yourself because you hold expectations about what they should be doing for you. Depending on how life meets your expectations, you judge situations as either good or bad. When you get what you think you want from it, life is good. When you don’t, life is bad. If you were at peace with yourself, how would you react to the flow of the river around you? You wouldn’t react at all; you’d let the river be, accepting its presence, enjoying its beauty and seeing the truth of its essence. The same perspective can be brought to life.
Understanding the nature of judgment is essential to learning how to accept it, and to taking more joy from the present. What is judgment but our projections of what we think is good or bad about life? Judgment is not what we think of others, however; it’s what we think of ourselves. When we judge, we’re reaffirming from the basis of our self-beliefs who we think we are; it's aspects of ourselves we see in other people. Since who we are changes from moment to moment (like everything else), how can we even know who we are with any certainty? We think we do, and we cling to our self-images like glue; but when we do we keep ourselves from realizing greater growth, and from realizing our true potentials.
Judgment is the result of seeing aspects of ourselves that we’re unhappy with, or that we wish we could change. How many times have you cursed someone because they did something you’ve done yourself? How many times have you wondered out loud how a beautiful, rich, and famous person could possibly have a drug addiction? You expect certain things from certain people, and then judge them when they don’t meet those expectations; but all you’re really doing is judging yourself, because your life - and who you think you are in it - doesn’t meet your expectations. Expectations, like judgments, hold us back from living fuller lives, and from the spontaneity of being in the moment, of experiencing more fun and joy in it.
Are you beginning to see how needless judgment is? What point is there to it? It doesn’t move you forward to judge anything as right or wrong, good or bad. In and of themselves, all people and all events are neutral; they aren’t good or bad until we give that meaning to them. Not only that, given that the present is becoming the past virtually instantaneously, when we judge, we’re judging something that’s not even there any more. That’s reason alone to ignore judgment altogether; why would you bother, if you’re judging something that no longer exists? Of course, we cannot stop judging; we do it all the time. So practicing acceptance of this aspect of the self is what's required. You know you're going to judge; can you accept when it happens, realize you don't have to act on judgments, and continue to view life with a neutral perspective?
Judging others based on your self-beliefs also takes away from who other people really are. They’re just like you; many times frightened, at times courageous, trying to find their ways through life. When we judge them based on how we think they should be - or on a past that still hurts us in the present - we remove the chance for those relationships to grow. We automatically assume that they’re going to act a certain way, and so we place limitations on our encounters with them, and lose out on the potential for more positive experiences. Instead of taking someone at face value in the here and now, we take away the opportunity to understand that we’re all the same, we can all learn from one another, and we can all grow together. Only it’s not others you end up short-changing when you judge them; it’s yourself, because when you do it you’ve already lost the opportunity to be who you really are, and left yourself open to more self-recrimination. It’s a vicious circle that can end up quite literally killing you, because when we practice judgment we also create guilt, or self-blame, and sooner or later that will manifest as stress.
Judgment stops us from acceptance of the present, because when we do it we’re eiither caught up in the past, or worried about the future. The truth is happening now, and only now. Being anywhere else is nothing but fantasy. Where is your mind at this very instant? Is it worried about work, or your spouse, or your kids? Or are you remembering something from the past that angered, saddened or excited you? Are you thinking about what might happen tomorrow? Even as you read these words, ego would love to have you be anywhere else but here, because when you’re fully present it doesn’t have a chance to make you miserable, or keep you from knowing the truth of your existence.
What is that truth? You are not a body living in an apparently physical world; you’re a spiritual presence, projecting the dream of a physical world. So, where are you, then? If I'm not here, where's my mind (and well you might ask that of me if you're still reading)? It doesn’t matter where the mind is; it’s certainly not in the dream we call "reality." The mind created the dream in the first place, and everything you perceive in it. As you practice a discipline like meditation, you come closer to the realization that your true Self exists outside of space and time. You cannot be both a physical presence, and a mind that exists without any physical presence at all. You’re either one of the other, and the very existence of the mind suggests that its the true Self.
What is that truth? You are not a body living in an apparently physical world; you’re a spiritual presence, projecting the dream of a physical world. So, where are you, then? If I'm not here, where's my mind (and well you might ask that of me if you're still reading)? It doesn’t matter where the mind is; it’s certainly not in the dream we call "reality." The mind created the dream in the first place, and everything you perceive in it. As you practice a discipline like meditation, you come closer to the realization that your true Self exists outside of space and time. You cannot be both a physical presence, and a mind that exists without any physical presence at all. You’re either one of the other, and the very existence of the mind suggests that its the true Self.
Judgment is not only meaningless, but counter-productive to accepting your life experience. Yes, we need judgment in order to function at times, like when crossing the street, or to avoid eating spoiled food - but that type of judgment is better termed common sense, because we’re not applying preconceived notions to what we’re doing - we’re simply acting upon prior experience. Apart from that, judging the present based on a non-existent past is like trying to stop the flow of a river with just your hands; it isn't practical, or worthwhile. Once you accept this fact - once you come to accept not only the illusory nature of your so-called physical reality, but the metaphysical nature of your true Self - there isn’t a reason left to believe your judgments about anything, especially yourself. Accepting them as momentary events can help open you up to new experiences, and who you really are becomes more apparent. You find greater joy, peace, and love, and take a giant step toward full awareness of your true reality.
